In the shower at 6:30 am is an interesting time. It's far too quiet and it gives my mind time to wander. That's not always good.
I was thinking about the past; mine to be exact. Ya know the saying, What doesn't kill you makes you stronger?" Well... here I am.

What I was mostly thinking about was a book, one that I was going to write. One I've actually started, it's called "Pie at Nine." What is Pie at Nine you ask? Well, it was a weekly occasion.

Years ago when I was first divorced My room mates and I would have what we called, Pie at Nine which was exactly that. Pie, by candlelight at 9:00 pm on a specific night. Every room mate that was home, including Bethany if she wasn't with her Dad would gather to the kitchen and eat pie, and during that time; if I recall correctly, everything that was talked about had to be positive. No anger, no gossip, just laughing and fun. We needed that night each week I think, because when you have that many women living in the same house there's bound to be drama. And we had it in spades!

Anyway, that's why the title, Pie at Nine. It was going to be a story about my life from the time Bethanys Dad and I separated to, who knows when. (I hadn't gotten to that point yet.) The names would all be changed and, in my mind the authors name would definitely be changed.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I'm not going to write it. That's the decision I've come to after to much quiet time in the shower.
Why? After all it'd probably be a best seller! hehe. Huge Drama!

And that's probably why...I don't want to re~live the drama. It wasn't good for me...It wasn't good for my daughter. Sure, I've grown, I've learned a lot. But 13 or more years later I realize that my personal life's past is no one's business. I'm not that woman anymore...That mother anymore. In a private conversation, if I feel like it might help someone, I may share. If a good friend is really interested...Maybe.

It really is true, When you repent, when you apologize, and forgive, it's in the past and although you never forget completely, (dang it!) It's hard to believe that that woman...

was me.

So I'm not going to write it.